You're a strong, determined woman, you always speak your mind
You race ahead of other girls and leave them far behind
You've achieved success through hard work, you've always had a plan
But that won't help you very much when you need to find a man.

To love you, and protect you, and correct you when you're wrong
To sweetly serenade you, that means sing you a nice song
To sweep you off your feet like you're in a fairytale
To give your life a purpose you need a heterosexual male.

The letters by your name suggest an education too
A published book on neuroscience, my darling, good for you
You're a very clever girl, no doubt, you success may well inspire
But these dalliances hide the truth of what you secretly desire.

Someone to hug you, and to kiss you, to tell you, you look good
To explain films and literature because you may have misunderstood
To undermine your politics, but your fair appearance hail
To give you affirmation you need a heterosexual male.

While I'm all for feminism, and only want what's best for you
There's no monopoly on suffering and men have problems too
You claim the patriarchal society is to blame
But hold on there, sweetheart, for not all men are the same.

To rush to keep you company when you're feeling all alone
But when you turn down his advances complain he's in the friendzone
To subtly criticise, patronise you when you fail
To define you as a person you need a heterosexual male.

To grab you, and to hold you, to tempt you into bed
To strip down to his underwear before you’ve given the go ahead
With attempts at your arousal, that rarely prevail
To satisfy your needs you need a heterosexual male